Noob Mother Entry #1 - Mt Alvernia Hospital Review + Day One to Six

So I gave birth at Mt Alvernia Hospital. I have to say that overall I was quite satisfied with the services there. Of course, not all things were perfect. For instance, majority of the nurses in Our Lady's Ward were experienced and good, except for one or two. One hurt me by using her sharp nail to poke my very sore nipple when she was trying to unlatch my baby (sorry TMI) and some others were just quite heck care I felt.

The food was not bad, I had a two-bedded room and thank God I brought my ear plugs. I tell you, every hospital bag should have ear plugs, unless you are staying in a one-bedded room. My first neighbour would call up her mum and talk to her on speaker phone at like 7am in the morning. She also didn't know how to whisper so she was constantly talking at her normal voice...even at 12am at night. My second neighbour was the most powerful snorer I have ever met. I consider the hubs' snoring quite powerful, but this lady thrashed him by a mile. Seriously, I would have wept if I didn't have my ear plugs.

Anyway baby stayed in hospital an additional day because his jaundice level was 11.9 so I stayed too.

The next day, baby's jaundice dropped to 10.8 and the Paediatrician allowed him to go home. :D

Day One - With the hubs around it wasn't so bad. Things seemed manageable and it felt ok to not feel ok because it was baby's day one back home with us. I just thought we needed some getting used to. Didn't sleep because baby didn't want to sleep. Gave him a pacifier and whenever it dropped out of his mouth (which happened like every 5 mins), he would be startled and would wake up and start wailing. I had to find the pacifier in the dark and popped it back into his mouth every 5 mins. It was pure torture. Until I dozed off at 5plus am and awoke with a start at 6plus thinking "Why isn't there any sound?" only to see that he has fallen into a deep sleep, pacifier forgotten.

Day Two - Bathed the baby for the first time. Goodness he screamed like I was about to murder him. My baby hates baths. The hubs took half day and it wasn't so bad. Still didn't manage to get enough sleep.

Day Three - Brought him to Paediatrician on my own. Thankfully he slept throughout the journey there, throughout the wait at the clinic. Only when the PD unswaddled him did he start screaming. Which meant I only heard about a third of what the PD said because it was so disconcerting to see the baby crying until he turned red as the fire hydrant. After I changed his soiled diaper and fed him at the clinic, he slept again on the way home. Phew.

Day Four - Went to gynae to check my wound. Quite scared to leave him alone at home with the mum-in-law. So rushed to gynae and rushed back. Managed to buy one Gong Cha though which really made my day.

Day Five - Major meltdown. Baby kept crying and crying and crying and crying and crying. I don't know what he wants. He has been fed, burped, changed, rocked, carried but on and on he went. I am so tired I hated him then. Ok maybe hate is too strong a word but I was seriously getting quite sick of this screaming, wailing creature. Like, WHAT DO YOU WANT?! When the hubs called, I broke down and cried. When the hubs returned at night and asked me about this and that I flared up at him, then started crying in the room again. Sigh. To top things off, little one didn't sleep until 3+ am, because he refused to let me swaddle him so he kept jerking and startling himself awake. -_-"

Day Six - So far so good. Have established a minor routine whereby the baby sleeps soundly only from about 3-4am onwards, but continues to sleep soundly in the morning until about 10am. So after I wake the hubs up for work, I go back to sleep until 10am. Follow baby's timing. He's quite cranky today too so hopefully he will be sleepy later at night.

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Things I have learnt so far:

1. It's ok if you don't have enough breast milk. It doesn't make you any less of a mother. All mothers want the best for their children but if we don't have breastmilk then so be it. The fact that there's formula milk in the market meant there are millions of mothers in this world who don't have breastmilk as well. It's not a crime and it doesn't mean we love our children any less. Don't stress over this.

This was toughest for me as I was adamant during pregnancy that to save money and for the baby's sake I would DEFINITELY breastfeed. Goes to show that you really shouldn't speak so early. I cried buckets in the hospital because I didn't have enough breastmilk and also because both my nipples bled so I couldn't let baby latch on or even pump (whatever I had pumped out had to be thrown away but then again, the amount was so pathetic it wouldn't have filled a quarter of my baby's tummy).

2. Pregnancy was the easy part. Taking care of the baby is the hard part, especially because he can't communicate. They say communication is a two-way traffic, but when it comes to communicating with the baby, it's basically a dead-end. He can't understand you and you can't understand him.

Be prepared for sleepless nights, sleepless days and endless frustrations. Be prepared to become a totally sleep-deprived zombie. Be prepared for endless diaper changes, for endless pees and poos. Be prepared for feedings after feedings after feedings. Be prepared to wake up bleary-eyed but be expected to function. You will become an expert milk-making machine (or you will become a cow). Either way, be prepared to see your boobies real often (either from breastfeeding or pumping).

P/S: If your baby refuses to sleep at night and you are forced to stay awake and you're on the verge of crying, just keep telling yourself that he HAS GOT TO SLEEP sometime within the next few hours and that's when you can catch your break too. I did this last night and it helped.

3. You NEED to join a support group. I joined a group on Facebook that had all the ladies who were going to give birth in February 2015 and this group has proven to be such a major pillar of support. Support groups are important because you then realise that you are not in this alone. Whatever you are facing, there are many others out there who are either facing the same issue or has it worse. In addition, these mummies are a great source of information and help.

4. Talk to the husband for support. Believe me when I say that your quality time with the husband would seriously go down the pits. Whatever time you have is either spent with the baby or spent resting. Honestly I don't even have much energy left to talk/chat with the husband, unlike the good old days when we would snuggle together and spend some time together. But I believe that as long as both parties put in the effort, things would still be great and days spent together can still be romantic.

5. Don't be ashamed to ask for help and don't be stubborn to ask for help either. I was very against asking mum-in-law for help because (1) I don't like her much and (2) I was way too arrogant. Considering what a bitchy daughter-in-law I have been I feel quite ashamed of myself. Now I let her carry the baby whenever she wants and when she asked me to go into the room to rest while she carried the baby in the living room, I just do it. Used to be I would refuse as I didn't want baby to become more attached to her than to me, but now I just realised that I do no one any good if I am so tired and cranky that I am flaring up at everyone (the hubs, parents-in-law, the baby). So yeah she can carry the baby all she wants.

6. PRAY. For the baby and about the baby and for yourself. No matter how tough it is, I kept telling myself that God wouldn't give me a trial that I cannot pass or go through.

This is an extraordinary journey with an exceptionally steep learning curve and I can only expect more ups and downs will come. Hopefully more ups! The besties tell me that the first 3 months are the toughest so yeah just gotta stick it out!