Noob Mother Entry #1 - Mt Alvernia Hospital Review + Day One to Six

So I gave birth at Mt Alvernia Hospital. I have to say that overall I was quite satisfied with the services there. Of course, not all things were perfect. For instance, majority of the nurses in Our Lady's Ward were experienced and good, except for one or two. One hurt me by using her sharp nail to poke my very sore nipple when she was trying to unlatch my baby (sorry TMI) and some others were just quite heck care I felt.

The food was not bad, I had a two-bedded room and thank God I brought my ear plugs. I tell you, every hospital bag should have ear plugs, unless you are staying in a one-bedded room. My first neighbour would call up her mum and talk to her on speaker phone at like 7am in the morning. She also didn't know how to whisper so she was constantly talking at her normal voice...even at 12am at night. My second neighbour was the most powerful snorer I have ever met. I consider the hubs' snoring quite powerful, but this lady thrashed him by a mile. Seriously, I would have wept if I didn't have my ear plugs.

Anyway baby stayed in hospital an additional day because his jaundice level was 11.9 so I stayed too.

The next day, baby's jaundice dropped to 10.8 and the Paediatrician allowed him to go home. :D

Day One - With the hubs around it wasn't so bad. Things seemed manageable and it felt ok to not feel ok because it was baby's day one back home with us. I just thought we needed some getting used to. Didn't sleep because baby didn't want to sleep. Gave him a pacifier and whenever it dropped out of his mouth (which happened like every 5 mins), he would be startled and would wake up and start wailing. I had to find the pacifier in the dark and popped it back into his mouth every 5 mins. It was pure torture. Until I dozed off at 5plus am and awoke with a start at 6plus thinking "Why isn't there any sound?" only to see that he has fallen into a deep sleep, pacifier forgotten.

Day Two - Bathed the baby for the first time. Goodness he screamed like I was about to murder him. My baby hates baths. The hubs took half day and it wasn't so bad. Still didn't manage to get enough sleep.

Day Three - Brought him to Paediatrician on my own. Thankfully he slept throughout the journey there, throughout the wait at the clinic. Only when the PD unswaddled him did he start screaming. Which meant I only heard about a third of what the PD said because it was so disconcerting to see the baby crying until he turned red as the fire hydrant. After I changed his soiled diaper and fed him at the clinic, he slept again on the way home. Phew.

Day Four - Went to gynae to check my wound. Quite scared to leave him alone at home with the mum-in-law. So rushed to gynae and rushed back. Managed to buy one Gong Cha though which really made my day.

Day Five - Major meltdown. Baby kept crying and crying and crying and crying and crying. I don't know what he wants. He has been fed, burped, changed, rocked, carried but on and on he went. I am so tired I hated him then. Ok maybe hate is too strong a word but I was seriously getting quite sick of this screaming, wailing creature. Like, WHAT DO YOU WANT?! When the hubs called, I broke down and cried. When the hubs returned at night and asked me about this and that I flared up at him, then started crying in the room again. Sigh. To top things off, little one didn't sleep until 3+ am, because he refused to let me swaddle him so he kept jerking and startling himself awake. -_-"

Day Six - So far so good. Have established a minor routine whereby the baby sleeps soundly only from about 3-4am onwards, but continues to sleep soundly in the morning until about 10am. So after I wake the hubs up for work, I go back to sleep until 10am. Follow baby's timing. He's quite cranky today too so hopefully he will be sleepy later at night.

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Things I have learnt so far:

1. It's ok if you don't have enough breast milk. It doesn't make you any less of a mother. All mothers want the best for their children but if we don't have breastmilk then so be it. The fact that there's formula milk in the market meant there are millions of mothers in this world who don't have breastmilk as well. It's not a crime and it doesn't mean we love our children any less. Don't stress over this.

This was toughest for me as I was adamant during pregnancy that to save money and for the baby's sake I would DEFINITELY breastfeed. Goes to show that you really shouldn't speak so early. I cried buckets in the hospital because I didn't have enough breastmilk and also because both my nipples bled so I couldn't let baby latch on or even pump (whatever I had pumped out had to be thrown away but then again, the amount was so pathetic it wouldn't have filled a quarter of my baby's tummy).

2. Pregnancy was the easy part. Taking care of the baby is the hard part, especially because he can't communicate. They say communication is a two-way traffic, but when it comes to communicating with the baby, it's basically a dead-end. He can't understand you and you can't understand him.

Be prepared for sleepless nights, sleepless days and endless frustrations. Be prepared to become a totally sleep-deprived zombie. Be prepared for endless diaper changes, for endless pees and poos. Be prepared for feedings after feedings after feedings. Be prepared to wake up bleary-eyed but be expected to function. You will become an expert milk-making machine (or you will become a cow). Either way, be prepared to see your boobies real often (either from breastfeeding or pumping).

P/S: If your baby refuses to sleep at night and you are forced to stay awake and you're on the verge of crying, just keep telling yourself that he HAS GOT TO SLEEP sometime within the next few hours and that's when you can catch your break too. I did this last night and it helped.

3. You NEED to join a support group. I joined a group on Facebook that had all the ladies who were going to give birth in February 2015 and this group has proven to be such a major pillar of support. Support groups are important because you then realise that you are not in this alone. Whatever you are facing, there are many others out there who are either facing the same issue or has it worse. In addition, these mummies are a great source of information and help.

4. Talk to the husband for support. Believe me when I say that your quality time with the husband would seriously go down the pits. Whatever time you have is either spent with the baby or spent resting. Honestly I don't even have much energy left to talk/chat with the husband, unlike the good old days when we would snuggle together and spend some time together. But I believe that as long as both parties put in the effort, things would still be great and days spent together can still be romantic.

5. Don't be ashamed to ask for help and don't be stubborn to ask for help either. I was very against asking mum-in-law for help because (1) I don't like her much and (2) I was way too arrogant. Considering what a bitchy daughter-in-law I have been I feel quite ashamed of myself. Now I let her carry the baby whenever she wants and when she asked me to go into the room to rest while she carried the baby in the living room, I just do it. Used to be I would refuse as I didn't want baby to become more attached to her than to me, but now I just realised that I do no one any good if I am so tired and cranky that I am flaring up at everyone (the hubs, parents-in-law, the baby). So yeah she can carry the baby all she wants.

6. PRAY. For the baby and about the baby and for yourself. No matter how tough it is, I kept telling myself that God wouldn't give me a trial that I cannot pass or go through.

This is an extraordinary journey with an exceptionally steep learning curve and I can only expect more ups and downs will come. Hopefully more ups! The besties tell me that the first 3 months are the toughest so yeah just gotta stick it out!

The birth story

It's been such a long while since I updated this blog...the pregnancy was smooth-sailing all the way until 39 weeks.

On the day I went 39+2, at 4am, I felt a little trickle down under as I was sleeping. Not quite sure what it was, I went to the bathroom to pee, only to stand up after that and feel water trickling down my legs. Thankfully the hubs also woke up so I told him we need to go to the hospital immediately.

At 4am, there wasn't much traffic and we reached there in record time. I was brought to the Delivery Suite to wait. Nurses came to give me enema (to clear my bowels) and I was strapped occasionally to the CTG machine which tracks baby's heartbeats and the contractions.

My gynae came by in the morning to check and I was only probably 0.5cm dilated. To cut a (really) long story short, I was given tablet x 2 and also oxytocin x 2 times to speed up dilation. I also asked for epidural sometime in the night as the contractions were starting to be really really painful. Unfortunately, but the next morning 8am when my gynae came, I was only 7cm dilated. He told me that my cervix walls are really thick and shows no signs of "softening". He says everytime they tried increasing the dosage of oxytocin, baby's heartbeat drops. It's been 28 hours since my waterbag burst so he asked whether we wanted to consider caesarean section.

By then, the hubs and I were both really tired and of course, concerned for the baby. Upon hearing the gynae's words I think our minds were made up pretty quick. We consented to caesarean section and I was pushed into the operating theatre shortly after. The thing was, I was given two dosages of epidural prior to the op so i think the anaesthetist could only estimate the amount that I was to be given. Which meant I wasn't completely, fully numb. I couldn't feel the cut, but I could feel the stretching, pulling, pushing etc and I just clung onto the hubs who was sitting next to me watching everything. While I clung, tears rolled down my face.

Thankfully, it was very fast, and the baby came out soon after. I was so tired and so relieved and it all felt a little surreal. Haha had I known C-sect would be so much faster I prob wouldn't have gone for natural. :P

The hubs was then tasked to follow the baby around while I was brought to the observation ward and made to lie there for a while. After that I was pushed to the ward where the hubs joined me.

So after 28 hours of labour, and an emergency C-sect, the baby, MY baby is finally out. :D I'm officially a mummy!

Week 31 updates

Wow it's been quite a long time since I last blogged. Been really busy at work but thankfully the peak period is almost over!

Baby M is at Week 31 now. I realised my gynae package, though cheap, is quite bo hua (not worth it) because the number of visits are not a lot, plus some of my friends' packages include meds but mine don't.

Anyway nowadays I feel ok, just more easily tired, plus my water retention is really bad. That day my feet were so swollen and my dog jumped onto my foot and I yelped in pain. It really hurts quite bad. Been trying to sleep with my legs propped up and occasionally the swelling subsides, but after one whole day at work it comes back. Even my fingers are swollen too.

We've finished buying all the big items for baby - stroller, changing station, playpen, baby seat, carseat, bouncer, carrier - all for $956! We bought at baby fair in December. Now it's the small stuff left and I have about 9 weeks to finish my shopping!

Have also thought of packing my hospital bag but a bit too lazy to start hehe.

Gynae package + mummy's insurance

So I forgot to add that after my detailed scan, my gynae finally made me sign the package. My gynae's package is $600 ($642 including GST) and includes scans, ultrasound photos, urine test. No meds or vitamins though. Anyway nowadays I've only been getting calcium pills from my gynae, I've been getting my multi-vitamins and fish oils from Watsons or Guardians.

So now the baby kicks rather regularly. Sometimes he would kick during the day, more often at night. There have been times when I've been woken up at 6am by his kicks but I still love it. Feeling the baby's kicks/movements is one of the greatest, most miraculous joys of pregnancy. I have this little trick of changing sides when I am lying down so as to feel him kick. I would lie down on my right side for about 5-10 mins and after that switch sides. Usually the baby responds. :)

I read online that it is better to sleep on your left side rather than your right as the right side is where the inferior vena cava is (that's the artery that carries oxygenated blood to the baby). Been sleeping a lot on my left sometimes the entire night. It is not the most comfortable sleeping position (imagine staying on the same side throughout the night) so sometimes I will sleep on my back but that is somewhat uncomfortable too. Ah well, 3 more months to go!

I bought an insurance plan for myself (during pregnancy and childbirth) and the baby (up to 3 years old) from OCBC. It is the only plan (I think) in the market that does not come with an ILP. It protects mothers from 8 pregnancy complications, protects the baby from 18 congenital diseases and covers certain hospitalisation (eg. from dengue) for the baby up to 3 years old. Of course, the coverage is not much, for the $659 plan (which is the one I took up), you are only paid $5000 in the event of pregnancy complications. It is not a lot, but definitely better than nothing? And of course, everyone buys such plans with the hope of never putting it to the test or utilising it. The plan is called MaxMaternity Care and they let me purchase although I am not an existing OCBC customer, but the condition is that I have to open the CDA account for the baby with OCBC.

Well, just sharing in case some mummies are looking for something like that :)

Our baby journey - Pregnancy Myths & Old Wives' Tales

I feel that I am a very scientific person. I am agreeable to a lot of things, only if they have been scientifically proven to make sense. Those things that have no logic, I refuse to listen to and so here are a list of myths/old wives' tales that I've heard about pregnancy so far but have disregarded.

Myth #1: No cold drinks or food

This is quite nonsense. I've been eating iced ching tng, drinking coke, soft drinks, ribena, iced milo and eating ice cream like countless times throughout this pregnancy. So far so good. The fact is, by the time the cold water travels down your oesophagus and to your tummy, it is already warmed up. I salute those women who can tahan (endure) not drinking cold drinks in Singapore's crazy weather.

Myth #2: Do not consume cooling foods

Erm I haven't been following this as well. In fact during the first trimester I drank quite a bit of grass jelly (I prefer that to soya bean). Even now, I am still eating a slice of watermelon every day. I believe that in everything, moderation is key. Just don't go swallowing the entire watermelon. In fact, westerners advocate eating watermelon for its high water content.

Myth #3: If your stomach is round, it's a girl and if it is pointy, it's a boy

In the first place, I've never seen a pointy stomach. Secondly, many people commented that my belly was round...but I am still having a baby boy.

Myth #4: Take more tonics to 补 your body

I don't believe in TCM so much, which is ironic given that both my uncle and aunt are TCM Practitioners. I just feel that there are a lot of unknowns about TCM that I would rather not take the risk. I don't take ginseng (scientifically proven to be bad for the foetus), nor bird's nest. Also all the other herbs like Danggui or whatever. The only thing I would possibly willingly eat is probably Chicken's Essence, and that's because I like the taste of Chicken Essence. Hehe

These are all I can think of for now. I will update if there are more! Hope this entry helps to put some mummies' hearts at ease (especially if you thought you've committed the unforgivable crime of eating watermelon)! :)

Our baby journey - Detailed scan

Two days ago, we went for our detailed scan at Mt Alvernia Hospital. We were naturally very excited because we were about to find out whether we belonged to Team Pink or Blue.

Our appointment was at 10.30am, so we reached right on the dot, informed the counter staff who gave me a queue number. It was indicated on the number slip that the waiting time was about an hour so the hubs and I went to grab some food at the cafe. After which, we went down to Basement 1 to wait again and soon it was our turn.

First thing the hubs told the radiologist (or whatever you call those people who do the ultrasound scans for you), was that we wanted to know the gender. She replied, sure she'll take a look and soon enough as she was scanning, she saw the penis hahaha and informed us it's a boy! Team Blue!

She then went on to take photos of the baby's four limbs (both upper and lower portion), abdomen, heart, brain, kidneys, spine, foetal profile, eyes, nose and lips. She said the fingers and toes are too small to count but we did manage to see them and they looked perfect! Overall she said baby is healthy which was a huge huge relief for us. The scan took about 45 mins (depending on how cooperative your baby is).

She said she would send the photos back to my gynae and he will review them with me at my next visit, which is this Friday. :)

Meanwhile, the hubs had already posted our baby's penis on Facebook for the world to see. -_-"

Now the important thing is to think of a name for him! :)

Our baby journey - The essential fish oil

The fish oil my gynae gave me has finally finished. The clinic charged me $70 for each bottle, which lasted me exactly one month.

So I went to get my own and this brand came very highly recommended.

I like that I only have to take one capsule a day, instead of two capsules which the one my gynae gave me required me to take. This brand also has quite low EPA which is good.

This small little bottle contains 30 capsules, which also lasts me an entire month, but this bottle only costs $45.50 (from Watsons). 

So I saved $24.50 every month. *beams* (It's even cheaper from hospital pharmacies I think)

I just googled it and realised this is a malaysian brand but online there are quite a number of mothers who recommended this so I shall just stick to it for now.