The power of thoughts

Ever since the altercation I had with the girls at work since February, we've been on non-talking terms (basically it's them against me) since then. So it's been almost half a year of being quiet at the workplace. I am not normally a quiet person, though I feel that I can be either an extrovert or an introvert. So now's the time the introvert comes out more frequently than before.

All these while, I felt that I was being ostracised and unfairly treated. I mean, honestly I didn't even do anything to warrant all these cold shoulders and juvenile behaviour. Nonetheless, I've been kinda unhappy for a whole 6 months. I mean, after all, how happy can you be when you know the girls at work hate your guts?

So for the past few months, I've been keeping a lookout for a job. On and off, there would come periods of time when I would be so angsty and frustrated that I'd send out 10 job applications in a day. When people asked, I would say that I am unhappy at work.

This morning at work, something just came into my mind. Nothing even sparked it off. It was a random, sudden pop-into-your-head kind of thing. The revelation came in a more complicated manner/sentence/thought, but it can be summed up in three words

I DON'T CARE

And it's true. I really don't! What they think of me, what they say about me. I won't go so far as to say it doesn't affect me. Of course it does, I'd have to be cold-blooded not to be affected. But it no longer has an impact on my happiness. I feel like God has given me freedom over the hold Satan had on me. It's almost like Satan trapped me into being unhappy, grouchy when I have so much in my life to be thankful for. And also a job that honestly ain't too bad. 

It's so liberating to know that you can choose to be happy. It is a CHOICE, within our grasp. It is simply a matter of seeing things differently, making a conscious decision to think about things in another manner. Now I feel less unsettled at work and more at peace with myself actually. They can think what they want or say what they want, because honestly, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. :)