Yesterday afternoon, after the dog (P) went to get his annual vaccine, he came home unsettled and out of sorts. Hub's mum attributed it to him being scared during the vaccination. As hub's mum said it happens every year, I didn't think much of it. P was still out of sorts at night, hubs was quite concerned, but hub's mum and me both brushed it aside. He finally found a vet online and called the clinic. The clinic said panting hard is normal as P's probably running a fever. So we went to bed, thinking that if P still seems odd tomorrow we'd bring him to the vet.
I was rudely woken up at 6am by hub's dad. He told me,"P's dying! Come quick!" I went over to P and he was lying on the bed, motionless and he wasn't blinking his eyes. There was blood on his nose. Suddenly, he lost control of his bowels and peed onto the bed. I quickly went to wake hubs, who drove everyone to the 24hrs vet. The clinic people took P away right after we got there. It was a scary 30mins wait, with accusations, unhappiness and most of all, fear, clawing at everyone. Soon after, the vet came out and told us that his heart had stopped. Even before we reached the clinic, his heart had stopped and they are not able to resuscitate him.
We left P's body on the bed at the clinic, after saying our goodbyes. We are gonna get him cremated and keep his ashes at home.
I don't know whether I am still in shock. I can get through the day-to-day motion without thinking of him, but when I think of him I feel like crying, weeping violently. Which I did at my desk earlier on.
My dearest dearest P,
When I joined the family 3 years ago, you welcomed me with open arms. The family thought you were gay, because you've never shown much affection for females (other than hub's mum). I was the first. I loved you too, you were so well-behaved. It was love at first sight.
You were such a good boy all the time. You would kiss me 9 times out of 10 when I asked for a kiss. You would play toys with such vigour. Even when you went blind, you still came to our room to look for us, to spend time with us. You would sit at our feet unfailingly whenever we ate (though after you went blind you often stared at the fan, thinking it was us), you would shamelessly ask for food, standing on your hind legs and placing your paws on our thighs. None of us were any match for your big doe eyes. One of us always ended up sneaking food to you.
You were always licking your paws, such that when we asked you for "paw paw", you stubbornly refused to show us your paws because you knew you had done wrong. You were always so well-behaved when we go out. I loved teasing you by literally pulling your leg. You hated it and would bark in protest every time I did that, but we always made up, because that's what family does. You hated it when the family quarrelled, and in your own way meted out your own punishment by ignoring the wrong party for the rest of the night.
You came into my life 3 years ago, though now that you are physically gone, I will never forget you and what you've taught me - that family always loves unconditionally and always forgive. I love you my dear. I will miss your kisses, I will miss hugging you, I will miss feeding you your favourite cuttlefish and fried chicken. I love you P, I hope you know that and that I have never given you any cause to doubt my love for you. How I wish I can hold you in my arms one more time, that I can kiss you and you can kiss me back one more time. Goodbye my love, I hope heaven has clean, green pastures for you to run in, friends to play with and good food to eat. I love you my darling. I'll see you in heaven. :)
With all my love and more,
J
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